Mythbusting Cancer
(because every negative thing you've heard about your star sign is a myth)
“I’m Cancer so I’m a cry-baby who is supposed to be soft and caring and kind and compassionate all the time. Sigh.”
NOOOOOOOOOO!
That’s the domesticated version of Cancer we inherited from the ancients, for whom women were chattels and possessions, not independent human beings.
OF COURSE their version of Cancer was almost the perfect design for an unpaid worker whose only job is to care for everyone else’s needs.
Gaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!
And we all have Cancer in our chart somewhere - so busting this myth is a great way to challenge the patriarchy, for all of us.
It’s absolutely true that Cancer knows how to nurture - but the core yearning is to connect heart-to-heart with another [exquisitely unique and potent] human being, regardless of age, circumstances, past, etc.
This is why Cancer is represented by the crab - soft and squishy on the inside to aid connection, hard shell and pincers on the outside to protect and defend the vulnerable.
Because when that person isn’t yet at full potential - because it's a child or has trauma or lives with disadvantage - Cancer yearns to support that entity’s growth into power.
That’s why natural, free-flowing Cancer is not about having someone hang around helpless and needy forever.
It’s all about nurturing something into its true power - and that can works with things, too - a book, a business, a relationship …
Cancer is an exquisitely designed mentor and defender, and it’s also an expert at pushing the fledgling out to fly solo at exactly the right time.
Want a model of Cancer doing compassion in action?
It’s the gentle mother tending the newborn AND it’s Sigourney Weaver in Aliens facing the alien and screaming ‘get away from her, you bitch!’ AND it’s the seabird pushing its fully grown fledging off of the sheer cliff-face ledge, to learn to fly (even though it risks being dashed to pieces on the rocks below).
Cancer is there for the survival and the empowerment of the entity, bringing all the different dimensions of compassion to that process of growth.
INCLUDING FOR THEIR OWN SELF.
So, to all my Cancerian friends having a birthday this month (and to everyone who lives with them) - listen up!
You did not come here to martyr your own growth and power and potential to the needs of everyone around you.
You did not come here to measure your value by how much you do All The Things for other people.
That’s the BS of the patriarchy, manipulating your nurturing gifts and superpowers for its own evil ends, to get you to be a well-behaved doormat.
And please, no shame if you discover that dynamic at play - it was installed in you by a very powerful system which benefits from keeping you feeling that way … and it’s okay to give yourself compassion, so you can do the work of liberating yourself.
Your Cancerian superpowers include the fierce mama bear energy, the willingness to say no, and an exquisite sense for how to support without rescuing.
Your gifts include knowing how to guide the person or thing you are nurturing to become their own powerful self, including the things you’re creating for yourself.
So next time your healthy, able-bodied adult kid expects you to do their laundry, or your male boss expects you to fix his computer issues when you’re not paid as IT support - what is ACTUALLY your most loving and compassionate move?
Is it doing it for them and keeping them helpless?
Or is it teaching them how to do it themselves (and refusing to do it for them), so they can stand in their power?
Compassion, sure.
Rushing to the rescue 24/7, no!
Cancer’s gift helps other humans to feel safe and connected, supported and even protected.
That doesn’t make it the duty or obligation of Cancer, to look after or rescue everybody else, all the time.
Happy birthday, Cancer folks!