Mean girls and besties

(or, who is truly on your side)

We all have ‘em.

The mean girls who whisper vile things at us, in voices with barbs that catch in our flesh - especially when they resurface in the small hours of the morning.

And the besties, the voices that soothe and console, and remind us of who we truly are.

In the emotional landscape of being human, the meanest two girls living in our heads are Anxiety and Shame.

They have much in common.

They both pretend to be useful.

If I can only worry enough, I can prevent disaster striking.

If I can only generate sufficient shame, it will motivate me to be my Best Self.

And they both LIE.

Anxiety doesn’t prevent disaster - it renders us less able to access our genius for creative solutions.

Shame doesn’t motivate growth - it hinders movement and hampers courage.

But the bestie who truly has our best interests at heart, and whose voice has the potential to drown out those two meanies?

She is Compassion.

Compassion says ‘I see you, and I love you and accept you just as you are, with all the messy humanity that makes you unique and worthy’.

Compassion says ‘no matter how shitty you feel about stuff right now, you can’t make me quit loving you’.

Photo by Sergey Shmidt on Unsplash

Compassion is spacious and kind.

It gives us room to breathe.

It helps us exercise our courage and curiosity and creativity.

It doesn’t judge the messiness of the journey of life, making it the true fuel for change and growth and healing.

And it tells the truth.

Because you are, indeed, worthy of love on all your days - the triumphant ones, the messy ones, the chaotic ones.

So next time the mean girls pay a visit, call upon Compassion and fall into her arms.